A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's by Rachel Cantor

By Rachel Cantor

"Cosmic and comedian, filled with philosophy, mysticism and celestial whimsy. either profoundly wild and wildly profound."
--Charles Yu, writer of How to stay appropriately in a technology Fictional Universe

In the not-too-distant destiny, competing massive speedy foodstuff factions rule the realm. Leonard works for Neetsa Pizza, the Pythagorean pizza chain, in a lonely yet hugely surveilled domestic place of work, answering calls on his proceedings hotline. It's a monotonous task, yet he likes it--there's a collection solution for each state of affairs, and he by no means has to go away the home. other than then he starts off getting calls from Marco, who claims to be a thirteenth-century explorer simply lower back from Cathay. And what do you are saying to a caller like that? Plus, Neetsa Pizza doesn't love it in the event you burst off script.

Meanwhile, Leonard's sister retains disappearing on mystery missions together with her "book club," leaving him to keep up his nephew, this means that Leonard has to head outdoor. and outdoors is the place the difficulty starts off.

A astounding debut novel in which medieval Kabbalists, infrequent publication librarians, and Latter-Day Baconians skirmish for keep an eye on over mystery mystical wisdom, and one Neetsa Pizza worker discovers that you simply can't store the realm with pizza coupons.

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Additional resources for A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel

Example text

More important, I've had it up to here with corporations pushing the fucking unions around. You know if you haven't been laid off by now you're working overtime. Companies are lean and mean. And so is the service they give you: lean and mean. Still, a lot of the blame falls on us. There seems to be this notion that good, honest, hard work is something to be viewed down our collective snout. That doesn't make the workers at the bottom of the pole feel very good. Does it? If you want better service, the next time you see one of I hose workers in an "employee of the month" photo at a last-food restaurant, suppress your urge to make your friends laugh by ridiculing the guy as a dork loser with a bad haircut.

Bottom line, folks, for all our evolutionary bluster and braggadocio we are animals and we live in a zoo where it's turned into free crack night in the ferret hut. We have got to pull a Dennis Rodman and start getting aggressive on the offensive glass so the bad guys know that their next violent act will most certainly be their last. It's the nonpunks versus the punks in a Texas cage match for the unified belt and we must not go gentle into that bad night. Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Let's free the courts and jails of lonely men and broken women who feel the need to buy and sell sex. Let's let the hookers and their johns have a safe building somewhere, off the streets, inspected medically, and taxed up the wazoo. Let's go on from there to tax liquor and cigarettes 500 percent, so that those industries can pay for safe, one- lane, drunk-proof highways and air-purification systems. Most important, let's stop pretending that people are going to lead the lives that we tell them to lead.

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